I have no regrets or apologies for my online shenanigans over the past 2 years. Today it occured to me: this is what I enjoy. Writing. Also, I have a burden to tell people how much God loves us all. I have a very early memory. So early that you might not believe this. But I have a memory of before I was even conceived. I've always had this inside of me, even as a child, I remember standing in heaven, on the "edge", that's how I sensed it. I was standing near the "exit", it was to my right. I stood facing God, or an angel, or Jesus. I can't remember the face or what the appearance was, I just know, it was love, and there was light everywhere, and He stood there before me, and said, "Tell them how much I love them."
So I tell you how much He loves you in the only way I know how~ I tell how He showed His love to me, throughout my existence so far on this earth. I leave some things unsaid, hoping my voice will speak the loudest with the things I leave untouched. Know what I'm saying?
No?
Ok well I want to change the subject anyway. I'm sitting here this morning drinking my tea, fully aware of how the thought of God, and God's love for us, and images of Jesus ready to embrace you with a big fat loving hug can annoy the living daylights out of folks. How do I know? From personal experience with other people, listening to their reactions and hearing how they describe their annoyance with Christianity. One person I know has said, "Just the thought of Jesus makes me bristle with discomfort. I don't want anything to do with it."
He also said that when Jesus is mentioned, he feels himself glazing over and his brain shuts down.
So I know and I'm aware of how uncomfortable my blog title is for some people to see. That's why it's there.
I had to get used to His love. I had to receive it, and believe it. I had to learn to get comfortable with love, and closeness, and intimacy, after coming from my family, where affection was a foreign word- humor took it's place- and after screwing up so many times, and learning to accept forgiveness.
I never mentioned this one: several years ago, I had a dream, I was in my old room again, and Jesus sat on my bed, like He did in the one where He spoke of restoring my heart.
In this one, I sat beside Him, and He hugged me tight, and I could feel a real love. It was protective and loving and sincere. It was also foreign. A new experience, a new feeling, but at the same time, I recognized it. I was at home in that hug.
As He hugged me, I heard Him say to me:
"This is how the love of a man should feel."
When I woke up from that dream I got the feeling that someone out there had been praying for me.
I have never known that kind of love in real life, but I do know, He loves us SO MUCH, and I'm going to keep reminding you until the cows come home.
Also, did you know, I have it all?
I'm a rich woman.
Just so you know.
hedge of protection
